The 12 (Customer Complaints) of Christmas

The 12 (Customer Complaints) of Christmas
Thinking of the 12 Days of Christmas song, I thought I would substitute 12 smile-generating complaints that I’ve heard customers responded with. You’re lucky I decided not share it as lyrics since I’m banned from karaoke clubs… Perhaps you and your staff have heard some of these comments/responses. After all, if our customers weren’t expected to diagnose their own problems, how would we know that they were fleet experts. 
Read these and recall if you’ve heard your customers’ state one or more of these responses:
1. “After we jumped it, I let it idle for 30 minutes which recharged the battery but it was dead again this morning so the battery is bad.”
2. “The fuel tower kept rejecting his fuel key so I entered bogus mileages until it let him fuel his car with my fuel key.”
3. “That damage happened while it was at Fleet Maintenance. One of your mechanics must have done it.”
4. “I grease it every day! I don’t know why it seized up.”
5. “I need more emergency lights put on my police car.”
6. “The oil light has been coming on periodically now for a couple of weeks and I’m not paid to check oil!”
7. (In response to a 600 mile/year utilization report) “I need to use it every day, you can’t take it away!”
8. “It’s a four wheel drive, since I couldn’t stop and hit that car, the ABS must be defective!”
9. “The wind caught my load tarping system and ripped it off while I was dumping.”
10. “I was checking out my new police are and the engine cuts out at 134 MPH!”
11. “When it’s time to replace my car, I want to upgrade to a four wheel drive truck.”
12. (My all-time favorite) “Oh my god! What did you do to my truck; it’s never drove this good!”

One thing we all need to remember; these innocent comments made in ignorance are why we are so valuable to our agencies. Keep smiling and tactfully educate your customers in a way that lets them keep thinking they are fleet experts…
Any humorous customer responses you would like to share?