"It is a crime for any generation to take the crisis of the world so solemnly as to put off enjoying those things for which we were presumably designed in the first place." Alister Cook

My name is Barbara Bobit; I'm 17 now and again pinch-hitting for pop who is again representing the company at a string of conventions such as CATRALA, National Truck Leasing System, International Truck and Trailer, Automotive Fleet and Leasing, and NAFA. In between these so-called meetings (it's really the bar and receptions that he is interested in-his two or three hour lunches would provide the necessary time to get this job done), I'm stuck with the assignment. And I did get a few pieces of fan mail the last time, so I said 'right on.'

Then with a glass of gin in one hand and his suitcase in the other (as he races towards the airport taxi), he hands me this file on "safety and emissions" and briefly explains that no one wants to read or hear about it, so tackle it and see what you can do to wake our readers up. Now that is a heavy assignment.

Right off I could see that some people are going to have to change their minds and get their heads together about this whole thing or we may not have enough budget left for gin in our house. Did you see the Mobil ad in the Journal? They call it the $66 Billion Mistake. It outlines in detail the. differences between the emitting pollutants currently or in 1970 when the Clean Air Act was passed as well as where they will be with the '75-'76 standards. It also points out that meeting these federal standards will probably cost $100 billion over the ten years starting in 1976. And by amending the Act to meet the less restrictive standards (California) the cost could then be held to some measly $34 billion. Hence the '$66 Billion Mistake.'

Now I tried to put that in simpler terms as pops would do, i.e. a fifth of gin versus a carload.

From the file (the folder is well marked with the glass-rimmed circles of gin stains), the White House Office of Science and Technology reports that '76 models will cost $722 more than today without any inflation mixed in; for both safety and emission devices. Then another note indicates that the current energy crises and our position with foreign oil imports will predictably increase gas prices to 50c): a gallon in the Midwest and perhaps a dollar a gallon in California.

Another note indicates that the average high mileage used car is in for a beating at the resale level that has not been encountered before. So add another $100 for your two-year-old car that you did not have before.

Forgive me, but I'm not done yet. Pop's file is full of letters from readers who claim that their new cars are 'presenting difficult driveability problems;' like their tendency to stutter, stammer, and stall (which is also a safety hazard), and which represents another bummer for costs in added maintenance and service of the units. No one has made an estimate on the cost of this service or the possible replacement of the unit since no one knows exactly what they are going to end up with as a final production unit.

As Bill Luneberg, AMC's outspoken president, told pops, "only 16 months remain to the '75 models. And the entire industry is still working with and on prototypes for emission control devices that must be effective in mass production." Additionally, the fuel standards have not yet been set by Washington so it presents an added challenge to develop or redevelop the unit.

Now I'm not quite through. The notes indicate that there is yet another vital area of concern. Gas mileage. Do you remember a few years ago before my dude ever heard of a muscle car.  We used to get 16 to 18 miles per gallon. So the muscle engines somehow made us accept 12 or 13. This year my guy is recording like 9 miles per gallon. Now brace yourself (with a martini, preferably), another 20 to 25 percent loss is expected in '76. Can you imagine pops across the backyard fence boasting about his '76 sub-compact with 7 miles per gallon. (All this just has to cut into his gin budget; pops calls it 'razor blade soup').

With this review, I know I have brightened your day or evening. But have faith. The auto companies, industry leaders, Dr. Arie J. Haagen-Smit (chairman of the California Air Resources Board), Mobil and others are asking our lawmakers about the $66 Billion Mistake.

While I may be in the flower child generation and cherish clean air more than most, I'd hate to see all these costs ruin pop's P & L statement . . . and his diminishing gin supply.