A small group of big thinkers gathered for an unusual workshop at the Conference of Automotive Remarketing on March 29.

The resulting conversation, almost uncomfortable at times, revealed insights about how our perspectives can impede or enhance relationships in business, and in life.

As host, Joe Miller, the executive vice president of client success at AutoIMS, set out to lead a larger, interactive engagement exercise where auction and consignor representatives could “trade places” to learn more about one another. However, the smaller, roundtable discussion turned out to be insightful for those who attended.

“Our hope was to shed light on the myriad of opportunities we face in this business to better understand our partners’ definitions of success, and as a result create more win-win situations and sustainable relationships,” Miller said.

Change Perspectives to Change Outcomes

Why the discomfort? As the group attempted to answer questions normally aimed at counterparts across the table, it became clear that they have natural tendencies, biases, and other blockers to understanding the perspective of others.

We tend to focus on and overweigh what we think is the right answer. We levy judgment on others without always trying to find merit.

A simple illustration would be as follows:

Rewording for a Better Working Relationship

Where did this dialogue come off track? How could this conversation go differently? Let’s explore:

Showing the Shoes You’re Walking In

This is a simple — but not unusual — example of the daily opportunities that show up where adopting a business partner’s perspective can change the tone and outcome of a discussion.

According to the discussion group, which included prominent representatives from all corners of the remarketing industry, they often wish the other party would just, ‘try to walk in their shoes for a day.’

Easier said than done with the current pace of work. One or both parties may carry a preconceived notion of the solution, and a perspective on how quickly others should adopt that one-sided, sub-optimized solution. Barriers are erected more easily when we don’t feel seen or heard.

Yet in the long run, making the extra effort to embrace a different point of view now can lead to better relationships and solutions that are easier to sell up the food chain. From there, efficiency gains are exponential.

4 Strategies for Deeper Understanding

So where to start? The workshop group discussed several strategies:

1. Make the effort to see the other’s perspective. Channel curiosity to formulate great questions grounded in “Why?”

2. Reserve judgment. When we find ourselves bristling at a new idea, or saying no quickly, these are opportunities to check in.

3. Listen to understand, rather than to respond. This is not new advice, but it is underused; and it dovetails quite nicely with 1 and 2.

4. Tap into the familiar. Have you been in a similar situation to the one your business partner faces? Finding points of commonality helps breed familiarity and connection.

Miller added, “I’m so thankful for the thoughtful and engaging people in our industry. Not only did several good friends participate, but also a few new folks. Everyone pivoted and participated in the discussion despite it being a bit off the normal track. Hopefully everyone took away at least one nugget of insight — I got several!”