The 12 NEW Complaints of Christmas

Thinking of the 12 Days of Christmas song, I thought I would substitute 12 hopefully smile-generating complaints that I’ve heard customers say. You’re lucky I decided not share this as a video since I’m banned from most karaoke clubs… Perhaps you and your staff have heard some of these comments/responses.  After all, if our customers weren’t expected to diagnose their own problems, how would we know that they were fleet experts?

Let me know if you’ve heard your customers’ state one or more of these responses:

1. “I didn’t leave the pool car fuel tank empty; it was that way when I used it.”
2. “I put tape over the ‘Service Engine Soon” light because I was too busy to bring it in for service when it came on.”
3. “What are you talking about – I have always got into the trash hopper and greased those zerks while it was running.”
4. “The chemical representative that sells us the Mag Chloride told me that ours has an additive which makes it non corrosive…”
5. “Can I get a weapons lock that holds three guns?”
6. “When I run code 3 to a call, I can’t stop when a tire chain breaks; It’s not my fault chains won’t hold up at that speed!”
7. “How was I to know when the HOT light went out, all the coolant had leaked out?  I figured it fixed itself.”
8. “When I used the auto chains yesterday on Engine 6, the Traction Control light came on.”
9. “We don’t need to ask for Risk Department approval, Police are exempt!”
10. “If we don’t buy an armored car for our SWAT team, someone is going to get killed!”
11. “Can we replace this vehicle this year? It’s been out-of-service almost two months from the three times I’ve wrecked this year…”
12. (This one was shared to me from a colleague in AZ.) “We’re getting a free Army Surplus Hummer delivered today. Where do you want it?”

One thing we all need to remember; these not so innocent comments are why we are so valuable to our agencies. Without our continued efforts dealing with these very issues, I might have hundreds of these to share each Christmas.  Keep smiling and tactfully educate your customers in a way that lets them keep thinking they really do know as much about vehicles as you do…