Every radio commercial and newspaper ad proclaims that they are the world's largest "so and so" dealer. Their promotional literature is marked the same way; and they plead for your service business with claims of huge facilities, experienced personnel and speedy attention. You know the type of dealer.

Now, if we ran our business like he does we simply would not be in business. How can a dealer continue to promise and renege talk quick service when it isn't and fix something once only to have to do it again. Tied in with it all is the quasi-promise of warranty of the car maker that leads most of us to believe that zero defect production and the golden seal warranty guarantees that you can depend on a trouble free car ... at least for a while, without a hitch.

It just is not so; and if we misled our advertisers and our readers in similar fashion, the free enterprise sys­tem would make us switch in a hurry to survive.

You may wonder what prompts this tirade. Well, 1 just could not help thinking about the 800,000 other new 1967 fleet cars that went into service like mine this year. I thought about it when I encountered four "dead battery" situations in which the local gas station hits you a reasonable $4 for a booster start. It was an electrical short in the system. 1 thought about those other 800,000 drivers dreading to face taking the new car in for dealer servicing.

Now I figure that I am smarter than the average bear so I call the fleet manager, whom I know, and in­dicate that I have some problems on service and how does he suggest that I get by with a minimum amount of time and trouble. "Thursday is a good day; come in early." Okay.

It happens to be seven miles to the nearest "so and so" dealership for me in this highly populated subur­ban area of Chicago. When you arrive you get into the familiar line. It took me an hour for the five minute service interview. The write-up man indicated that all the items should probably be covered by warranty (after 1 queried him). Then I find out that my fleet sales manager buddy is all out of loaners so my wife has to pile the kids in her ear, pick me up, deliver me to my office and I have to shoot a lunch date without a ear. She then picks me up and we pick up the ear in early evening.

Of course, all the "wheels" are gone by now so when I find that they have charged for each of the four items (no warranty . . . surprise!), I cannot very well take it out on this cute gal clerk. So my mood was not all it could have been but with my usual alacrity I leave a note for the service man to send me a written letter explaining what they have done so that I can "write to the factory." Besides the short, the inside door handle had fallen off and the rear turn signal bulb holder kept falling out and J had a definite flat spot on acceleration.

I did not get his letter of explanation; or even a phone call. When I reached him a week later he turned me over to the top service manager who ex­plained that I would have to foot the $13.42 charge for these items because they were not the delivering dealer and all items we're "pre-delivery" type service.

Well!! After some rather specific conversation he said that because it had over 3000 miles it did not qualify under warranty. Well!!! So I say if I have to pay perhaps you will return to me the service chit out of the book that is worth $25 to them. Well, no, again.

My only real point is that literally millions of pro­ductive man-hours are wasted in our business through the lack of a coordinated fast service method that is greatly needed. Also warranties are really misleading, even to the professional fleet managers. And the help­lessness one feels in this total situation is indescrib­able.

A few days after this initial service work was done we had our first real hot day. Alas, my convertible top would not go down. The gas station man checked the fuse (it was all right) and suggested I take it to the dealer. I just may go all summer with the top up.